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review by Dang Johnson

Weird Manners is an important skill for most to have, and a great book to boot. The first weird manner, also known as “the promordial”, is the Friend’s-Girlfriend-Goodbye. When you are hanging out with your pal or chap and his girlfriend wants you to leave but he doesn’t know, you must effect this manoeuver. Firstly, as the Girlfriend is saying she’s tired, immediately raise your body from a seated position and declare with utmost power of mind and spirit that you are “okay with hanging out more or also really okay with just going” (because it’s late and you wanna chill at home and think about some shit).

She will either then probably recognize that you are utilizing the Weird Manners system and will say that she’d “just like to talk to him, it’s been a REALLY long day.” “You’re tellin’ me!” is your response. That wasn’t one of the answers in the Choose Your Own Adventure book he was reading earlier that evening, he thought to himself. Hrmph. “A great book to boot…” Not sure how I feel about that one, the editor thought to himself. The Editor hated the author of Weird Manners because he had tried to write a book about Juice Manners but was rebuffed due to several bouts of inclement weather destroying the opportunity. Alas, they visited a country town where the people used all different words to refer to things. They called a bearded midget troll a “Girlfriend” and then the visitors entered the town. The author was flowing under the bridge, entering the township, when he noticed a bearded midget troll. He was flowing right on by in the powerful water current, carried by millions of atomic water hands, but he knew he had to inspect this bearded midget troll. “That’s a girlfriend, be careful sire!” a collapsible bicycle said to the Author. The Editor then appeared behind the collapsible bicycle holding a wrench in both hands over his head. *CLANG* he killed it. “You think you’re gonna figure out the wild river without you? I mean without me?” The Editor was more of a brute fellow, and his ability to swing a tool was only equated with his ability to ding der dool.